Dark days

Today, was a dark day for me.  I’m beginning to question whether I am on the right career path, whether my marriage is a stable as I thought it was, whether I am being the best mother I can be.  On Sunday, I found out that a former classmate of mine had committed suicide.  It shook me up and got me thinking why a wife and mother would leave her family behind like that.  Today, attempted to answer that question.

I’m so far from being the woman I want to be and the hardest thing is not knowing how to get there.  What’s the first step?  I’m not sure if there is a point to this post, I’m not sure if anyone will read it.  Maybe someone else feels the way that I do.  Maybe somehow this will help someone else, or help me.  There’s an emptiness within me, a dark hole that threatens to swallow me up and poison my life.  How can I escape it?  How can I get back to who I was? Is this postpartum depression?